Scenario 1:
You’re at the store doing the monthly grocery shopping with your 3-year-old child. He spots a shelf filled with chocolates and wants one. You refuse. He asks again, louder. You try to explain why he can’t have the chocolate. Before you know it your son is screaming and crying and refusing to budge.
Scenario 2:
Your nearly two-year-old is sitting at the table for breakfast and asks for a banana. You peel it and hand it to her. This results in a meltdown because she wanted to peel it herself. When you offer her another banana to peel, the crying becomes louder because she wants the first banana with the peel back on.
Parents, if you’ve dealt with the above, don’t worry! You’re not alone. Around 18 months to 2 years, your baby starts to develop socially and emotionally, and at the same time they are learning to communicate. This means they aren’t always able to express with words what they are feeling. Which leads to temper tantrums and meltdowns.
These tantrums can seem to come out of nowhere and can take place even in the most public places, which can drive you nuts. But remember your child is learning to manage and express the big emotions they are feeling. The good news is temper tantrums taper off around age 3.5-4 years, as the child learns to communicate better.
While temper tantrums are part and parcel of your toddler developing and getting a handle on their emotions. There are certain ways in which you can deal with them as well as reduce their occurrence.
Handling a temper tantrum
Stay calm if your child is in the midst of a temper tantrum. I know that’s hard to do when your baby is in tears and howling. But if your child is not endangering himself or others, give him/her space to vent.
∙ Let your child ride out the tantrum, remember they are dealing with certain feelings that they need to process. If it involves shouting and crying, let them. Sit next to them, be there with them until they’ve calmed down and then you can talk about it.
∙ If your child is having a tantrum in a public space that can be uncomfortable, but shushing them or giving in to their demands won’t help. Instead, be gentle and calm and get them to the car or somewhere private where they can unleash.
Avoiding a temper tantrum
Hungry, tired, not getting enough attention are some major reasons that lead to meltdowns.
∙ An overtired or hungry child is more likely to have a meltdown. So make sure your child sticks to their schedule (nap times, bedtime) as much as possible. If you’re going out with your child, make sure they are fed and carry snacks along.
∙ Every child needs a quota of one-on-one time with their parents. Try to give them some undivided attention every day, where you play with them, read, do an activity together. Praise them for good behavior at this time and talk to them about how to handle their feelings.
Dealing with temper tantrums is frustrating, confusing and sometimes even embarrassing (when it’s in public). But it comes with your child growing up and learning to deal with feelings. So try to be present and allow them to express themselves. And remember this stage will pass.