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We live in a world of stereotypes, and sometimes even the most open-minded of us subconsciously enforce them.  You might have told your son, ‘Don’t cry, be a brave boy!’ Or said to your daughter, ‘Wear the pink dress, it looks so pretty on you!’.  Kids pick up on statements like this and their ideas of what a boy or girl can and cannot do or say are formed.

Extended family, television, the Internet, school and peers all influence our children’s notions of gender, and as they grow everything in their world starts to become gender specific. This makes it increasingly harder to raise kids who are allowed to develop their own likes and dislikes without gender being thrown into the mix. There are, however, certain steps we can take to raise children in a gender-neutral environment.

Lead by example

Kids learn from the adults around them. They are always watching and listening and learning. Try as much as possible to watch what you say, and never imply that only a particular gender can or cannot do something. Share the household load between all members of the family – whatever their gender. Men can cook, women can fix things – show your kids by example.

Gender-neutral toys 

Children aren’t born thinking that girls have to play with dolls or boys can’t wear pink (both of which aren’t true), they are taught that by those around them. So from the start allow your child to explore. Pick gender-neutral toys for them like blocks and puzzles; teach them to play hopscotch and hide-and-seek. Let them play with kids of both genders, and see for themselves that boys and girls are equally good at things.

Let them choose!

If your son does decide that he wants to play with a doll or your daughter wants a red toy car for her birthday – don’t dissuade them. Allow them to choose what they want to play with.  This applies to clothes as well, let him wear the pink shoes and let her choose the blue shorts at the store. It’s what makes your child happy, that’s all that matters! Your support in normalizing these acts will make a world of difference to them.

Empower and educate your kids

Read your kids stories where princesses fight, where princes can be sensitive, where men take care of the children, and women can save the world. Let them know and learn that roles and career options are not defined by their gender. Tell them about inspiring women and men who have broken barriers. This will allow your child to believe they can be and do anything – no matter their gender.

It all begins at home and school, especially during the early years. Instill in your child through thought and action that gender doesn’t matter, that men and women can do the same jobs and feel the same emotions. In this way you’ll raise confident children who aren’t afraid to express themselves and can be who they want to be in this world.

Our kids have it good! They take the van or we pick them up and drop them at school in a vehicle. Deep-fried snacks, chips, burgers, pizza and let’s not forget that sweets and sugar loaded drinks are everywhere and within their reach. And then there are the gadgets! Most kids these days are never too far from a screen, be it a tablet or television.

So, it isn’t surprising then that in India 5.74 to 8.82% of school children are obese according to this piece in The Indian Express. Childhood obesity can cause a host of health issues like diabetes, high cholesterol and blood pressure, and even heart disease not only now, but even when they’re older. 

By taking some steps at both home and school, you can raise a healthy child, and help them form good eating and lifestyle habits.

• First off, if your child is overweight, don’t shame them and make negative comments. Be supportive and make sure they know that they are loved and cherished.

• Visit the doctor and have your child get a complete checkup. Have a discussion with the pediatrician and come up with a weight management plan. Make sure you always follow the doctor’s recommendation. 

• Children learn from those around them, so the adults in the family need to lead by example. Eat healthy foods and be active as well. It helps when kids are only allowed to bring in healthy snacks to school.

• Cut down on the junk food kept at home and the ordering in. Give your kids home cooked, balanced meals with plenty of vegetables and fruits. 

• If your child does want a packaged snack once in a way, make sure to check the ingredients and the amount of sugar and calories in the snack. Help your child make healthy choices.

• We Indians are famous for overfeeding and serving large helpings, but this isn’t healthy at all. Practice portion control and giving your child smaller but more frequent meals throughout the day. Send two small snack boxes to school as well, rather than one heavy one.

• If possible, let the family sit together at the dining table and eat. This way, the kids are more attentive toward what’s going into their stomach, rather than automatically shoveling food in while watching TV.

• Try to provide healthy alternatives to their favourite snacks. This might take some preparation and work, but it’s worth it in the long run.

• Exercise is super important. Your child needs at least an hour of physical activity a day. This can be achieved in an hour-long dance class or football class. Or could be split up through the day in the form of some time playing at the playground or riding a bike.

• Make sure the school your child goes to gives importance to physical activity and sports. 

• Do family activities together – maybe go for a trek or a walk in the park. Encourage your child to spend time outdoors by showing them how fun it is.

• Limit screen time! Whether it’s playing a video game or watching cartoons – try to make sure that they don’t indulge in it for more than a couple of hours.

Initially, it might be hard to make and implement all these changes. But stick with it and it will become a routine, and your kids will learn to make healthy lifestyle choices. The work you put in now will serve them well throughout their lives.

The tenth day of Dussehra is referred to by various names and celebrated in various ways all over the country. In South India, it is called Vijayadasami, and Saraswati, the Hindu Goddess of learning, knowledge and the arts is worshipped on this day. Many parents whose kids are ready choose this day to admit them into preschool.

If your child is 3-4 years old, you might be considering this day as an auspicious one for their schooling journey to begin. And, why not! In Kerala this tradition has transcended religion and children from different faiths have also specifically joined school on Vijayadasami.

Get an early start

By joining your little one at school for the first time during Vijayadasami, they start attending before the school year officially starts. But it also means they get that much more time to get used to the environment and become comfortable with school. So, even if your child isn’t ready for school, this is a good time to put them in preschool where they will learn to socialize and become more independent.

Forming a bond

Since Vijayadasami is considered such an important day for learning and education, many parents will have their kids join preschool or playschool on this day. This means that your child will not be alone.  All these kids who join at the same time will have each other, and build and grow friendships. Not only that, you will find a support system through the parents of these kids.

Keeping traditions alive

There is a beauty in keeping certain traditions alive and passing it down to our children. There is something special about starting your child’s educational journey on a day dedicated to the Goddess of learning and allowing them to write their first alphabet or learn their first song on this day. It creates a connection to our past and there is a level of involvement and commitment from you, the parent, and the child.

If you feel your child is ready for preschool or playschool, consider Vijayadasami as a great day to begin their education, and set them on a road to success in whatever they learn and do.

There are so many milestones to be met in a young child’s life. From turning over and crawling, to their first words and baby steps. These are moments that are waited for and celebrated. But there are other milestones that are as important, that we don’t always pay attention to. One of them is helping your toddlers learn how to dress themselves.

Most of us are guilty of rushing our kids – helping them get dressed, putting on their shoes for them and literally spoon-feeding them. It’s totally understandable considering what busy lives we lead. It’s hard to sit patiently and watch your child struggle with buttoning up their shirt when you’re late for work.

However, being able to dress themselves is an important skill for your child to learn. It builds their confidence, helps them feel a sense of achievement and develops their fine motor, gross motor and cognitive skills.

Here are some tips to help your child as they learn to dress themselves:

1. Mornings are super busy in most households with everyone needing to get out of the door to daycare, work etc. It may not be the time when you’re most patient. So, save the practicing and learning how to dress and undress for bedtime or evening bath time.
2. Show your kids different items of clothing. Have them identify the pieces – t-shirts, shorts and so on. Demonstrate how to put on the clothing or shoes.
3. It can be simpler to start with teaching your kids how to remove their shoes, or their pants. This is easier for them to do, and will give them the confidence to figure out how to put them back on.
4. Choose clothes and footwear that are easy to put on. Say no to tiny buttons, zippers and laces and go with Velcro and elastic to begin with. Once they master pulling up their pants and putting on their shoes, you can teach them how to put buttons on or tie their laces up.
5. Kids have a hard time distinguishing the front of clothing from the back, or even their right shoe from their left. Help them with this by buying clothing that has a logo or cartoon character on the front. Also, teach them how to find the tag, so that they know that goes in the back. Different stickers on each shoe can help them figure out which shoe goes on which foot.
6. Make them sit on the floor while they put on their shoes and socks. This way they don’t lose their balance. Sitting on a small stool also makes taking pants off easier. It also helps to have a mirror close at hand so that they can check themselves and see that their clothes are on right.

A word of advice to all you parents – be patient! We know that it’s easier said than done. But once your child gets the hang of dressing themselves, that’s one less thing you’ll have to worry about and they will be that much more independent. So allow them to practice and try until they get it right.

Remember the first time your baby rolled over? The excitement when you saw it happen, the joy that your little one had achieved a milestone? Nothing beats that feeling.  Similarly, just as your baby learns to roll over, crawl and stand as the months go by, they also meet milestones when it comes to socialization.

The social skills that your child develops over the first few years of their life are vital. These skills, when it comes to communicating properly, having good manners, managing personal emotions and being considerate of others, will help them have healthy and respectful interactions with those around them as they grow older.

You will start to see your child develop social skills around the age of one. By this age, they will be able to recognize the faces of their parents, grandparents, their nanny – anyone they spend a fair amount of time with. They’ll also be able to interact with you, and communicate via pointing and vocalizing.

When your child is around two years old, you’ll start seeing that they have a preference towards certain adults, and will go to them for comfort. They may not interact and play with other children as yet though, but parallel play takes place.  This is also the age where you’ll hear a lot of ‘Nos’ and ‘That’s mine’ – don’t worry! It’s completely normal. They will learn to share over time, but make sure that you and those around show the child how sharing works.

At the age of three, most kids are ready for playschool, if they aren’t already in a daycare program. Your little one will start to look for and seek out other children to play with. They will make eye contact and initiate conversations. They become more aware of, and start to identify emotions like being happy, sad, angry etc. A fun aspect of this age is that they start to pretend play, enjoy dress-up and start to use their imagination.

By the age of four or five, your child will be able to understand the concept of sharing better. There will be some resistance initially, but they’ll slowly start to take turns – encourage this.  They’ll learn to negotiate at this stage, and be able to hold proper conversations. This is also the age where they’ll be physically affectionate, so enjoy every hug and kiss your little one gives you. Because on the other hand, they’ll start to exert their independence, and will want to pick out their own clothes and put on their shoes themselves. This can be a bother when you’re running late and you need your child to hurry up. So, take deep breaths and try to be patient, because they are developing social skills, which will hold them in good stead for the rest of their lives.

 As a parent, you can help your child along as they develop different social skills. Talk to them about feelings, and teach empathy. Organize play dates where your child can learn about personal space, and the concept of taking turns. You might have to go over it a few times, but they will learn. Teach them how to communicate politely, how to greet other kids and to have good manners.

Remember, kids watch and learn from the adults around them, so practice what you preach. You have the most important job in the world – that of raising an emotionally stable, well mannered adult who treats others with respect and empathy. So, be patient with your child and yourself as you help them develop these social skills.

Finding the ideal daycare centre for your child takes research and effort, and it’s not a decision you will take lightly. Having said that, an important point to keep in mind while choosing a daycare centre is whether to put your child in one that is closer to home, or to your place of work.

We can break it down for you, so that it becomes easier to make a decision. If you pick a daycare near home and both your spouse and you work, you can take turns doing drop-offs and pickups. On the other hand, if you pick a daycare near your work, unless your spouse works in the same area, you will be solely responsible to drop and pick your child up.

For some of us there’s quite a commute between home and work. And if your child is very young, you might feel more comfortable having them at a daycare centre near your place of work, so you can check in on them whenever needed, or to pick them up quickly in case of an emergency.

However, if work is flexible for either your spouse or you, and there are options to work from home, it’s convenient to put your child in a daycare centre near home. Do you travel on work? In that case as well, it might make more sense to choose a daycare centre near home. This way your spouse or other family members can take over doing drop-offs and pickups without too much inconvenience.

Remember, young children thrive on routine, so take travel time into account when picking a daycare centre. In the event that you choose one near work and quite a distance from home, there are chances of your child and you being stuck in a long commute. This could mean late drop-offs at daycare. Are you likely to deal with heavy traffic on the way home from work? Well, you don’t want to be late to pick your child up. In that case a daycare centre near your job makes more sense.

Location makes all the difference when picking a daycare centre, so take all possible scenarios into consideration while fixing on one. The daycare you decide on should be as conveniently located as possible, taking into account your spouse and your respective schedules and work timings. This way drop-offs and pickups happen on time and, more importantly, your child is comfortable.