Month: July 2019

Remember the first time your baby rolled over? The excitement when you saw it happen, the joy that your little one had achieved a milestone? Nothing beats that feeling.  Similarly, just as your baby learns to roll over, crawl and stand as the months go by, they also meet milestones when it comes to socialization.

The social skills that your child develops over the first few years of their life are vital. These skills, when it comes to communicating properly, having good manners, managing personal emotions and being considerate of others, will help them have healthy and respectful interactions with those around them as they grow older.

You will start to see your child develop social skills around the age of one. By this age, they will be able to recognize the faces of their parents, grandparents, their nanny – anyone they spend a fair amount of time with. They’ll also be able to interact with you, and communicate via pointing and vocalizing.

When your child is around two years old, you’ll start seeing that they have a preference towards certain adults, and will go to them for comfort. They may not interact and play with other children as yet though, but parallel play takes place.  This is also the age where you’ll hear a lot of ‘Nos’ and ‘That’s mine’ – don’t worry! It’s completely normal. They will learn to share over time, but make sure that you and those around show the child how sharing works.

At the age of three, most kids are ready for playschool, if they aren’t already in a daycare program. Your little one will start to look for and seek out other children to play with. They will make eye contact and initiate conversations. They become more aware of, and start to identify emotions like being happy, sad, angry etc. A fun aspect of this age is that they start to pretend play, enjoy dress-up and start to use their imagination.

By the age of four or five, your child will be able to understand the concept of sharing better. There will be some resistance initially, but they’ll slowly start to take turns – encourage this.  They’ll learn to negotiate at this stage, and be able to hold proper conversations. This is also the age where they’ll be physically affectionate, so enjoy every hug and kiss your little one gives you. Because on the other hand, they’ll start to exert their independence, and will want to pick out their own clothes and put on their shoes themselves. This can be a bother when you’re running late and you need your child to hurry up. So, take deep breaths and try to be patient, because they are developing social skills, which will hold them in good stead for the rest of their lives.

 As a parent, you can help your child along as they develop different social skills. Talk to them about feelings, and teach empathy. Organize play dates where your child can learn about personal space, and the concept of taking turns. You might have to go over it a few times, but they will learn. Teach them how to communicate politely, how to greet other kids and to have good manners.

Remember, kids watch and learn from the adults around them, so practice what you preach. You have the most important job in the world – that of raising an emotionally stable, well mannered adult who treats others with respect and empathy. So, be patient with your child and yourself as you help them develop these social skills.

Finding the ideal daycare centre for your child takes research and effort, and it’s not a decision you will take lightly. Having said that, an important point to keep in mind while choosing a daycare centre is whether to put your child in one that is closer to home, or to your place of work.

We can break it down for you, so that it becomes easier to make a decision. If you pick a daycare near home and both your spouse and you work, you can take turns doing drop-offs and pickups. On the other hand, if you pick a daycare near your work, unless your spouse works in the same area, you will be solely responsible to drop and pick your child up.

For some of us there’s quite a commute between home and work. And if your child is very young, you might feel more comfortable having them at a daycare centre near your place of work, so you can check in on them whenever needed, or to pick them up quickly in case of an emergency.

However, if work is flexible for either your spouse or you, and there are options to work from home, it’s convenient to put your child in a daycare centre near home. Do you travel on work? In that case as well, it might make more sense to choose a daycare centre near home. This way your spouse or other family members can take over doing drop-offs and pickups without too much inconvenience.

Remember, young children thrive on routine, so take travel time into account when picking a daycare centre. In the event that you choose one near work and quite a distance from home, there are chances of your child and you being stuck in a long commute. This could mean late drop-offs at daycare. Are you likely to deal with heavy traffic on the way home from work? Well, you don’t want to be late to pick your child up. In that case a daycare centre near your job makes more sense.

Location makes all the difference when picking a daycare centre, so take all possible scenarios into consideration while fixing on one. The daycare you decide on should be as conveniently located as possible, taking into account your spouse and your respective schedules and work timings. This way drop-offs and pickups happen on time and, more importantly, your child is comfortable.

Yes, you read the title right! You’ve been looking forward to seeing your child at the end of the day, and rush to pick them up from daycare, only to be met with silence or crying because they don’t want to leave. This can be heartbreaking and frustrating!

This isn’t uncommon though; some kids act out at pick-up time. There are tantrums, they may not seem happy to see you, or they just don’t want to leave. It becomes a power struggle getting them to put on their bags and exit the daycare center, which can lead to tears and shouting.

There are usually two reasons for this: your child is having too much fun at the moment and doesn’t want to leave, or they’ve had a long day and are tired and act out with the person they are most comfortable with –you.

Here are some tips to help you avoid a tough time during pick-up:

• Don’t rush your child during pick-up. Yes, you’ve had a long day too and want to get home. But give your child time to finish whatever they’re doing, allow them to say bye and get ready to leave. It also helps to hug your child and tell them you can’t wait to hear about their day on the way home.

• Have a routine for pick-up and talk to your child about it in advance. Say you’ll be picking them up at a certain time and show them on a watch. During pick-up time walk around with your child and say bye to their teachers and friends. Another idea is to have a special snack ready for the drive back home after daycare.

• If you’ve reached daycare and your child is too engrossed in an activity or playing and not ready to leave, tell them that they can have five more minutes of play time before it’s time to go. Set an alarm on your phone or watch and show your child. Tell them that when the beeping starts they have to stop whatever they’re doing and get ready to go home.

• Make leaving fun and interactive. Tell your child that you need help carrying your bag to the car, or inform them that daycare is closing and ask if they would like to lend a hand by switching off the lights. While heading to the car from daycare, have your child hop like a bunny or sing a funny song together during the walk.
• Once your child and you are home from pick-up, set aside 15 to 30 minutes of special time where you can color together, play or read stories – whatever your child enjoys doing. This way there is something for them to look forward to after daycare and they’ll be excited to get home.

Your child is feeling under the weather at school, but both you and your partner are stuck at work. Who will pick your sick child up?

 Your partner is travelling and you have the flu. Who will help you watch your child?

Nowadays, most of us live in nuclear families and we aren’t always prepared to deal with such situations. Often there is no support system to fall back on and compromises are made and work-life balance suffers.

This wasn’t always so. Our grandparents, many of our parents and even some of us were born and brought up in huge, sprawling families. There were enough eyes to watch the kids and more than enough hands to feed and take care of them. But in our generation things have changed. Nuclear families, for a variety of valid reasons, have become the norm.

There is an African proverb that says that it takes a village to raise a child, and it’s true. We first come to this realisation when we become parents ourselves. We learn how hard it is to take care of a baby, the many challenges that come with it and how much help we need.

In those early days and nights, there is sleep deprivation, numerous diaper changes and learning to feed and bathe the baby—all the while balancing housework and office work. Phew! And as your child grows older, new challenges come up. Which parent will do school/ after-school activities pick-up and drop? Who will watch the child while both parents are at work? Which parent will stay at home when the child falls sick?

So, you start relying on the people around you and you build your village. Your parents, in-laws, nannies, siblings, friends, neighbours and even teachers at school or day care facility all become a part of your tribe. These are the people you can count on. These are the people you can trust to watch your child. These are the people who help you balance work and home.

But, it takes time to build these relationships. There are those of us who have immediate family living nearby, which makes it that much easier. There are many of us who live far from family due to work, life etc. In this case finding your village takes some effort.

So, how do you go about it? If you’re a new parent join parenting groups on social media or even in your community—breastfeeding group, babywearing group, post-natal groups, there are plenty. You will meet other parents going through what you are, which is the first step towards feeling less lonely on this journey of parenting. As your children grow together there will be more to share and connect over. You will have a host of people you can turn to!

Do you have older kids? Create a community for them. Get to know the other parents in your apartment building or locality and be there for one another. Carpool and take turns dropping and picking the kids up from school and other classes. During summer holidays, plan neighbourhood activities to keep the children occupied and let the grownups alternate supervising them.

We have to put ourselves out there in order to create this network. Often, we are too afraid to ask for help. We feel we have to do it all. And that’s when we get overwhelmed and things fall through the cracks. So, reach out and ask for help! That is the first step towards building a village. If you can afford to, hire a nanny or enroll your child in day care. If childcare isn’t in your budget, ask family and friends to step in and help in whatever way.

Parenting is the hardest job in the world and we all could do with the extra help. When we have support we are less stressed, more present, and in turn our children feel secure.  So surround yourself with people who will be there for you in your hour of need. And as you build your village to raise your child, remember to be a part of someone else’s village and help them raise their child.